Oh man!

So what are the odds...

That my cousin and I would BOTH be purchasing houses this month!!! I can't believe it, we are both getting our first houses this month. This will add to the list of first things we've done together since we've been friends (some of which now have to be covered in the blood of Jesus ONLY to be talked about when we get into one of our "remember when..." moods).
This is SUCH a monumental event for two black girls from the South Bronx. We both have fabulous jobs, have stable relationships (I'm married, she's on her way I know it!), have fairly decent families in comparison to the REALLY crazy families out there, and have mothers who are dealing with health issues that by all right should have killed them. Can't lie and say that when she mentioned moving south that I wasn't overjoyed, but I'm happy that she's now happy where she is. I can't wait until when we exchange the "you have a new house" gifts!!! This is GREAT!!!!

What's Been Going On!

1. Officially moved to South Carolina
2. Officially started looking for a house
3. Have found a house
4. Moving on November 1
5. Started a new PERMANENT job at US Food as a project manager
6. Started seriously trying to lose weight (6.5 lbs so far)
7. Shocked and amazed at the move of God in my life and the lives of others!
8. Excited because my cousin has a new man who makes her extremely happy and in spite of the insanity that's going on in her life right now, he seems to have her grounded (yeah for him!)
9. My mother is doing EXTREMELY well with her chemo treatments - the spot on her liver is shrinking and her weight is holding steady
10. My sister has purchased a home, its fabulous!
11. My mother is turning 73 in 4 days.
    

Its the Little Things that Make it Permanent

Ok so I'm officially relocation to SC (that's a whole blog unto itself) but I've been having fits of anxiety this week about what should be a relatively MINOR thing.... RELINQUISHING MY NY DRIVERS LICENSE!!! Yes, I need to switch my insurance, get new place and let my beloved license go. So of all the things that I have done to make this a permanent move, this move right here, is making me ill. The "smiling faces beautiful places" slogan on the license, the weird state logo (which only my cousin would agree looks like a logo for some weird religion - sun and moon), the many colors that I can get plates in, ALL ARE FREAKING ME OUT!! I feel so cool when travelling through the airport and when I flash my ID, people say "a new yorker huh". Will I be so cool with my SC ID (what will they say "a palmetter stater huh"!). No one gives a heck about people from SC outside of thinking that you have peaches and sweet tea rolling out your ears, you drink mint julips for breakfast and secretly have a confederate flag as a comforter!. Maybe I'll hold on to my NY ID until it expires. I'm just not ready to commit on that level!!

Dancing with my Husband

Every morning at some point, my husband comes to me and wants to dance (usually some corny ballroom thing but dancing nonetheless). Of course this attempt to dance with me is always when I've overslept by 1/2 hour, running around like a fool, trying to get the dogs outside, my contact lenses are acting crazy, my hair is a mess AND I can't fit anything in my closet so needless to say, I'm not usually the best dance partner.

But the other day it hit me. This is a special time and although I might be late for work, I SHOULD take the time to be a more willing dance partner. I remember a time where we barely spoke with each other in the AM (or hell, in the PM for that matter!) and I should not take this lightly. I should see it as our time together, and no matter what else is going on, if he's taken the time to focus on me, I should return the favor!

Strength, Courage and Wisdom

These days I'm finding myself want to know more about my mother. Could it be that since she's battling colon cancer (last report was optimistic) that this is some sort of morbid "I'd better get all that I can while she's here" knee-jerk reaction? I dunno.

All I know is that I now view my mother in a TOTALLY different light. She's been through major surgery, undergoing chemo therapy treatments and has not complained once. When you call her, she's upbeat and always cracking jokes.

What I'm learning about my mother is that she is the strongest, most courageous, wisest person I know. Often I find myself saying one of her sayings that I realize now were so full of wisdom:

1. If you lie, you'll steal - my cousin and I used to crack up over this one, but now we use this line ourselves!
   
2. only thing open after 12:00 is legs - this was always said after some boy/man I was dating wanted to pick me up late)
3. always have escape money - this is money that you take on a date in case he ditches you and you need to get home on your own
4. always believe someone when they show you who they are

She has a whole host of others, I think I'll get with friends/family and gather them all. She's such a strong, courageous, wise person and I regret that I spent so much time being angry at who she wasn't, that its not until now that I appreciate who she is.

Turning 40 in exactly 17 days!

Turning 40!
There are some things about turning 40 that are bothering me:

1. not having a home
2. not having a child
3. still feel like I'm not doing the work I want to do

There are some things about turning 40 that are not bothering me:

1. I still look good (atleast I think so, whoever disagrees, too bad so sad)
2. Working on getting my weight under control
3. Making major moves in terms of living somewhere that I'm happy with

I think most of all if I'm honest, what's bothering me is the fact that me turning 40 doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone but me! I don't know what I expect: a parade, jugglers, a trip around the world, WHO KNOWS!! But when I mention it to folks (mostly my family) "OMG, I'm going to be 40 in ____ days". Its sorta met with "ok".

My cousin (who is also turning 40 this year) is making this scrapbook of all the people in her life who have had an impact. While I though about doing something like this, I DON'T SCRAP and this is way to monumental an occassion to jack up.

Maybe I'll just sleep my 40th birthday away so that if it doesn't meet my expectations (which I'm not sure what they are at this point) I won't be disappointed. Maybe I should work on defining my expectations and verbalizing them so if they're not met, its not because I didn't say what I wanted. Is that part of turning 40, saying what you want and expecting it???